Christmas Spirit

Christmas Poems
Christmas Stories
A Visit from St. Nicholas
Christmas Carols
Songs and Hymns
Nutcracker Suite
Articles
Traditions

Comfort and Joy

Excerpted from Gifts From The Heart
by Virginia Brucker, who kindly granted us permission to publish this article.

For more information about this book, visit the author's web site.

Blessed is the influence of one true
loving human soul on another.
George Elliot

It is when we are ill that we are most in need of comfort, and of reassurance that our friends, despite the busyness of Christmas, have not forgotten us. Too often we find excuses to avoid visiting. We put it off because we are uncomfortable with illness, or we ask how we may help and then wait to be called. If someone you know is very ill, don't delay-think of something appropriate to do, and then do it! Small acts of kindness make difficult times more bearable, not only for the person who is ill, but for their spouse, children and caregivers. Here are some ways you can help:

• Make a meal with all the fixings and drop it off on a night you've previously arranged.



• Call ahead to make arrangements. It's hard for sick people to do things spontaneously. Often they need to adjust their schedule in order to conserve their energy for you visit.



• Ask the person who is ill if there is anywhere special they would like to go during the Christmas season. Perhaps there is a special movie or a light display they'd like to see. Plan ahead, but be understanding if changes must be made.



• A trip to the hairdresser might be a welcome gift. Make arrangements to take your friend or arrange for a stylist to come to them.



• Go shopping together for a wig, a hat or a scarf for a very close friend who anticipates hair loss due to chemotherapy. Go out for lunch afterwards. Your moral support will be appreciated.



• Help make sure your friend or relative's Christmas outfit and those of their kids are ready. Drop off and pick up any clothes that need dry cleaning.



• Set aside two half days to help put up and take down your friend's Christmas tree.



• Put up and take down their outdoor lights.



• Take their children to a tree farm to choose a tree. Have lunch with the kids before or afterward.



• Make a cookie kit for their kids, complete with frozen or chilled dough, a tub of icing, sprinkles and cookie cutters. Set up a time to supervise the baking and decorating.



• Invite their children to your house for a baking or craft session so their mom or dad can have a nap.



• Give a pre-baked gingerbread house kit for Christmas. They are available at most large grocery chains. Help the kids put it together.



• Organize some friends, parents, or church members to bake an extra dozen of their favorite treat. Arrange an appropriate time to deliver the goodies.



• Ask your church group, neighbors, friends or school's parents to have a "freezer meal" blitz. Let the family receiving the meals know ahead of time to make sure freezer space will be available.



• Make a meal with all the fixings and drop it off on a night you've previously arranged.



• If you don't have time to cook, arrange to have a pizza delivered or pick up some pasta or roast chicken and a couple of salads at the grocery store.



• Videotape the Christmas concert for someone too ill to attend. Drive their children to and from the concert if necessary.



• Take their children to see Santa and pick up the photos afterward.



• Make a commitment to take their child to a sports event or club when you are driving your own kids. Skating lessons, hockey, swimming, Brownies and Cubs play a really important part in keeping the lives of the children involved as normal as possible under the circumstances.



• Take your friend and their children for a drive to see the Christmas lights.



• Phone and ask if you can do some shopping for them when you are going to the mall.



• Offer to sit with a person who can't get out so their caregiver can have a rest or do some of their own Christmas shopping.



• Bring a terrific Christmas movie to your friend's house and watch it with them. Bring popcorn.



• A tape or CD of one of the "New Age" recordings of Christmas classics is a relaxing Christmas gift.



• Give their children snuggly toys for Christmas. Stuffed animals can give a lot of comfort.



• Help wrap, deliver or mail their gifts.



• Help your friend with their cards if they wish to send them.



• Sometimes there are great financial hardships associated with illness. Find out discretely if your friend or family member needs help; if so, arrange to pay their electrical, phone or heating bill anonymously.



• If you live too far away to visit often, phone and send cards and letters with snapshots regularly.



• Encourage your children to make special cards to send.



• Buy a warm nighty or pajamas, snuggly slippers, or a collection of soothing herbal teas for a gift.



• Give a nicely-framed picture of your family to a close friend or relative who is in hospital.



• Decorate a relative's hospital room with a small wreath, a tiny tree or some colorful drawings from your children.



• For someone who will be in hospital Christmas Day, fill a stocking with tiny treats such as hand cream, a word search book, a favorite treat, some hard candies and a small bottle of cologne or aftershave.



• Too often we don't say the things closest to our hearts. Write a Christmas letter saying what you love, admire and cherish about your friend or relative.



• Make a very personalized pillow for your friend or relative to snuggle up with. Take your photo and a piece of plain, light-colored fabric to your local print shop. They can transfer it to the fabric. Frame the photo panel with an attractive print and sew it into a pillow.



• Often people are cold while having chemotherapy. It's easy to make a snuggly quilt with polar fleece. Just buttonhole stitch, zigzag or serge around the edges. Applique family members' handprints cut from different colored fleece on. Wrap it up with a card that says, "Warm hugs from us to you."



• Give a photo album with pictures for Christmas this year.



• Make a special memory album for their children.



• Christmas can be very emotional for people who are very ill. Give the gifts of your patience and understanding.

Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends.
Euripides

Relatives of family members with Alzheimer's also need your support at Christmas:

• Plan a very calm, quiet Christmas if you are spending it at home with an Alzheimer's patient. Too much excitement can be very distressing for them.



• Give simple-to-manage clothing for Christmas gifts. Tube socks, shoes with Velcro, and jogging outfits are easy to put on.



• Give materials to sort. Pennies and penny folders, a bag of buttons, nuts and bolts or large beads are good. A muffin tin makes a good sorting tray.



• Favorite songs often bring back special memories. Find suitable CD's or tapes or make your own.



• Take your friend or relative for a short car ride to see the lights. Take along another family member or friend to sit with them so you can concentrate on driving.



• Bake their favorite kind of Christmas cookie.



• Spend a few hours with the person needing care so the caregiver can do their Christmas shopping.



• Give the caregiver a gift certificate for a massage, a soothing bath basket, a book you know they'll enjoy or their favorite treat.



• Listen, really listen, to your caregiving friend. It is devastating to realize that their spouse, mother or father no longer recognizes them. Encourage them to use some of the support services available so they can have a break. Make a commitment to help whenever you can.



• If you are an out-of-town relative, find ways to support the family member who is doing the majority of the caregiving. Give up part of your holiday to ensure they get a much-needed rest. If you can afford to, arrange for someone to help with housework or yard maintenance.

Read about Christmas and Grieving

[ Back to index ]

Email the link to this page to a friend.